Version History v.1 Fruity Goodness 24/7 v.2 Benji-ful v.3 Duet v.4 Fucking's Greatest Hits v.5 Avenues and Alleyways v.6 Neon Ballroom v.7 Sphere Hunter v.8 The Umiyu Review Comments by YACCS.

4.20.2004 "Is is a truth universally acknowledged..." Hi. I'm sorry about that last entry. I've now settled comfortably into apathy, once more. My day was slow. I spent it staring at the ground. I walked into things and people and hit my kneecap on a chair very hard. That was dumb. And then I opened a door into some people, by accident, and their response was to smack the door closed again in my face. I went to all my classes--why bother cutting when I can't leave and would just get detention. Or I could tell my teacher I was sick and wanted to go home, but then I'd just have to make up the work later. I don't think it's worth it. I don't care enough to be creative. I had to eat lunch alone with Allesy, who refused to stop talking. It wasn't bad sitting with her, but it was as thought she was trying to stop me from saying anything. She could've been sitting there, alone, and having the same conversation with nobody. I ate. I left. She followed me. Heard a disturbing account of Sally's recent ear-lobe-stretching. Eleanor gave me a pretty pen. Thanks, Gnor. Mr. Wall kept us after till about 3:00...maybe it was 3:05. Gnor was busy. Randee got in an accident this morning and her car was in the shop. I walked home. Erica was here when I got back--se had neglected to come get me even though her class had been cancelled: "I got hom around 2:50. I figured that I would have just missed you." But she brought me cheese puffs and they were the distraction I needed. I had a really bad headache earlier but it went away after I drank some water. I don't know what to say for myself. I guess nothing. I want to stop being dumb and ugly and self-absorbed and poor and insensitive. It's sad how insensitive I am. I can't believe the disregard I have for other people's feelings, sometimes. That's pathetic. But now I'm whining, so I'll cut to the chase... If I was a caterpillar right now, I would turn into a chrysalis. And then, some day, I'd be a pretty butterfly and fly away and be happy and land on flowers... And then a bird would eat me. It's been a weird day. S/T Ayumi, "Heartplace" 5:32 PM::